We Hurt Others After We Have Been Hurt

(Hurt People, Hurt People)

We hurt others after we have been hurt. This is another type of cycle; when we get hurt it is natural for us to want to retaliate or take it out on other people.

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People are initially fragile with their emotions until they are trained otherwise. We approach new experiences the same way a baby does and we default to certain feelings until we train ourselves to act differently.

It is common for people to default to: anger, sadness, fear or anxiety; which might lead us to a fight or flight response, or blaming ourselves or others when we ought not to.

A few things to take from this:

1. You can usually tell when someone has been hurt a lot in their past because they don't know how to appropriately cope with the hurt and tend to be more confrontational or blame others for their hurt.
2. When you are completely comfortable with yourself, you are more apt to recognizing your flaws, owning them, correcting them, and not letting others hurt you. You remain in control of yourself.
3.  If you have hurts that you haven't resolved, you need to fix them before you will progress in your relationships with others. You can "fix" your hurt places by acknowledging them, accepting them, relieving them, working on getting over them and finding a resolution to them. 
4. Most people carry around some hurt. You need to respect that other people have been hurt and may be hurt by things you say or do to them--intentional or not! And when someone else is suffering from some kind of hurt, don't let their reaction to the hurt affect you--recognize that their pain may be causing them to lash out at you. A little bit of empathy (read: understanding) will go a long way in allowing you to forgive them and not be affected by them.