Using your Body to Flirt

Flirting" is a difficult word to define in the English language, which makes it difficult to understand the concepts behind it. Philosophers the world over have had trouble describing, and therefore teaching the masses how to flirt is a difficult process. Here is my attempt: Flirting is one of a few mating practices performed by individuals to build a connection, express interest, and create excitement with each other. Flirting can, at times, be confusing, even for the expert flirt. Flirting is a higher-level form of communication that may incorporate one or more of the following elements: words, ideas, thoughts, body-language, symbols, aromas, or actions.
The things that pass for flirting with one individual can convey the opposite message to another individual, typically because of differences in cultural or social background. The opposite of flirting is being offensive.

I will be breaking the rest of this article into a series of three parts:
1. Flirty Words, Ideas, and Thoughts
2. Flirty Body-Language, Symbols, Aromas and Actions
3. Offensive Flirting

Part 2: Flirting by using your Body

With Flirting, understanding how to portray certain body language and read body language is absolutely crucial. Body language is a complex topic to touch on (no pun intended), but this kind of flirting is all about reading or giving the right signs. Misinterpreting body language, while trying to flirt, can be incredibly dangerous but reading it correctly can be liberating and exhilarating. Flirting using your body the right way gives the other person the go-ahead to make physical advances on you such as touching you, hugging you, holding hands, kissing, etc.

Just like verbal flirting, physical flirting incorporates acting, playing, and joking to trigger an emotion in the other person, typically excitement or attraction though you could trigger sympathy, confusion or any other emotion if you knew what you were doing (or didn't know what you were doing, for that matter). Physical flirting works best in combination of verbal flirting. Body language is hard for most people to interpret so having words to reinforce your body can clarify your communication--you can also contradict your verbal language for an effect or vice-versa.

Flirting with body language is a lot more tricky to understand and perform than verbal flirting because you have to get at the root of what real flirting is about (which I didn't cover in too much depth in my previous article), but I've attempted to simplify it like my previous article. The steps:
1. Just like you did in part one, pick an emotion or reaction that you would like to trigger in the other person. Generally you want to pick emotions or reactions that are known to bring people closer together. The root of flirting is to trigger a response from the other person that will bring you closer to them. A few examples are:

Thrill/Anticipation/Mystery/Discovery/Adventure 
People are brought together when they are faced with the unknown; they form groups and develop relationships based on interconnectedness when faced with a problem or mystery to be solved, a discovery to be made, or an experience or adventure to be had.

Fun/Excitement/Happiness 
Generally, people desire to connect themselves to others who make them feel happy and make them laugh and can entertain them. People keep coming back for more if they know you are reliable at creating fun.

Superiority/Ego Inflation (and sometimes inferiority)
Regardless of gender, or status in life, people have a secret desire to be seen as superior to others but surrounded by equals. By choosing this reaction to work towards, you set yourself up as an equal (or sometimes slightly superior to create a challenge for them to rise to) and you set the rest of people up to be different and less superior so that your similarities match with theirs.

2. Choose a delivery method:
There are some similarities and some differences between verbal and body flirting, and sometimes to portray the subtle difference between the two you MUST use verbal language.

Acting
Overemphasize, exaggerate, or assume a role.

Superiority Example:
Walk by someone standing still, eye them, smile at them, and then after passing you abruptly stop and start walking backwards to get a double look at them.
Explaination: You overemphasize or exaggerate the fact that you are checking them out. You might even throw in a whistle or some sort of "wow" words to act as though you are thoroughly impressed.

Playing
Turn physical acts into a game.

Fun Examples: Initiating thumb wars, poking, looking at and then briskly looking away when they notice (and then repeating when they look at you).

Joking
Respond to verbal comments and questions by assuming stances, changing behavior or pace, or giving emotive looks in their direction to generate a humorous response.

Thrill Example:
When he/she explains they have a fear of spiders, tickling the back of their neck or arm to simulate a spider crawling on them unbeknownst to them until they realize what you are doing. (this generally triggers a response to playfully punch you, so be prepared!)



With body language, it is crucial to read the other person's body language before doing anything too extreme. If they are not in the right state, your behavior could damage your relationship with them more than help it; however, if you do the right response your flirt can actually bring you closer together and present opportunities for smooth physical advancement.