RDC Coaching

RDC Coaching
Relationship, Dating, and Conflict (RDC) Coaching.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

The First Three Steps in Dreaming Big And Reaching Your Dreams




I said a couple weeks ago that "The hardest part of getting exactly what you want out of life is coming up with the dream or vision for it." Now I want to tell you the first three steps in dreaming, because you aren't going to accomplish anything--you will never have the relationship you want to have--until you dream for it and really want it. 

The first three steps are:

1. DISCOVER
2. YOURSELF
3. FIRST

If you are struggling to stay motivated, if you lose track of where you are going, if you don't know what you want then your problem is that you don't know how to dream. And you don't know how to dream because you haven't Discovered Yourself First. 

1. Discover

To discover something is to find it. It already exists, but you don't know everything about it. Scientists make discoveries--they don't invent things, they analyze things that are already there. Explorers discover things, they don't build things, they go on adventures, they venture into the unknown looking for something and they don't stop until they've learned everything they can learn about the thing they discovered. 
If you want to discover yourself, you have to go on "adventures," you have to push yourself, you have to take risks and venture into the unknown. What you're looking for is there already. You don't have to make it, build it, or change it, it's already there inside of you. You will have to be alone, you will have to try new things you will have to experiment. You will probably have to go against the grain and do things that people tell you directly not to do, things that society tells you you shouldn't do. That's what it means to discover yourself. 

2. Yourself

In case you're confused about what I mean,You are You. Singular. You don't need friends, money, a house, a car, a pet, kids, a spouse or partner, or even success to be You. You aren't the sum of the things associated with you, you are You and those things are added to you. So when you set about to discover yourself, look beyond those things. Look for the things about you that you have no guilt and no shame over. Look for the things that you are confident and comfortable with--fearless even. Not even the things that you are fearless towards other people over, but the things that you are fearless about to yourself.--The honest truth about yourself, that you can admit to yourself, even if you can't admit it to other people.--Who are you really? What do you want to be, or who do you want to be? When you die, what do you want history to remember you as? What do you want history to say about you, who are you in this entire universe? When you die, what unique skills and abilities that you aren't using right now are going to die with you never to benefit mankind with ever again? Why are you important--what about you makes you important? That is who you are. And when you can find that person, you have to choose to be that person.
A lot of people don't choose to be who they really are. They choose to be who society wants them to be. They choose to be a follower. They choose to do what other people tell them to be because they think it's easier, they think it's better--and only because someone else told them it was, not that it actually was. It's not easier, and it's not better--the only easy thing to be in life is yourself, because you don't have to try hard at all to be it. So when you choose to be yourself, you are choosing to not let the outside world tell you who to be. You are choosing to be comfortable with yourself. You are choosing to be confident rather than scared all of the time that you're doing it wrong or that you're going to face some hard times because you're being you. Find yourself, and then choose to be that person. 

3. First

Life isn't a game even though you might think it is. If you're reading this right now and you're thinking about how you have to go brush your teeth before bed or how you have to meet up with friends or family and or how you have to get back to work, then you're still playing the game.--The most important person in your life is You; and if you haven't found who You is yet, then you need to get your priorities straight. Nothing in your life is as important at figuring out who you are. Once you know who you are, then you can take care of yourself, then you can take care of other people, then you can work for other people or you can go work for yourself. That's what it means to discover yourself first. 
On the airplane they tell you in an emergency to take care of yourself first--put your mask on before you try to help someone else put theirs on. You are no good to anyone if in the process of helping them you are incapacitated. That's how you are right now in life. You're so caught up in everything around you, whether it's people or possessions, or ideals--it doesn't matter, but you're caught up in it. You're caught up in wanting to have a boyfriend or girlfriend so bad that you put yourself off, or you're caught up in supporting and defending your political beliefs or religious beliefs, and you don't even know who you are, or maybe you're so caught up in making money that you don't even know what you value and you keep telling yourself you want to be somebody who is rich. When you become rich--if you become rich--what are you going to regret? 


Discover Yourself First

No comments:

Post a Comment