Cycle 1: Blaming others

I will be podcasting about 3 common relationship cycles.

The first is as follows:

1. Things are fine
2. Someone says or does something to trigger an emotion in you
3. You react by: A) retaliating, or B) blowing up at them
4. You do whatever you can to get back to normal.

Remember, cycles are patterns. These are things you do over and over with or without realizing it. If you do this pattern, you need to correct it before you're going to progress from okay relationships (or no relationships) to having good or Great Relationships. Meaningful ones that you want to keep.



Here's the player:

Here's the Download: download



3 Steps to resolve this cycle:

1. Address the emotion and name it
2. Think about what you were going to do or what would you do normally (or what DID you do?)
3. Think about what can you do differently to resolve this and come out ahead in the future? (Think: How can I approach this and get closer to the other person rather than further apart?)

A few other things I talk about in this podcast:
The Ad Hominem Fallacy - Where you infer or apply additional beliefs or aspects about the other person based on one instance of them saying or doing something in the present. Ad Hominem translates to: "to the person" and is referring to a persons character or your perception of their character. Resorting to Ad Hominem assumptions about a person can slow (or stop!) the progression of a good relationship.

Walking on Eggshells - When you set your relationship up so that whenever someone triggers an emotion in you, you attribute that emotion to the other person as if it is their fault. (Think: "You made me angry because you side with someone I disagree with" or "You made me sad that you don't care enough about me to call or text me")

Black and White Relationships - When your relationship becomes so extreme that it becomes a list of rules and if the other person breaks one of the rules they're out or they are at fault and you are in the right. This is bad because people will inevitably make mistakes and then you'll find yourself punishing them more often then enjoying them.

One Liners:
Your emotions are your responsibility.




This one is just over 27 min... I'm still working on the podcast medium and hopefully I'll be able to shorten these in the future (ideally to about 10 min)


Follow the links to the right to continue to the next podcast, or go directly there by clicking here.