Cycle 2: Walking Away

Cycle 1: Blaming Others
Cycle 2: Walking away (or The Fear of Commitment)

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Just over 18 min (Hey, I'm slowly shortening them!)

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I prefer to call this cycle the cycle of walking away, but most people refer to it as the fear of commitment. Basically, if you find you have had a lot of short relationships; or if you are the one who always ends relationships, then you may very likely be stuck in this cylce.

The pattern is as follows:
1. (normal)Things are going along fine
2. (something happens) Something changes for you or the other person, or the realization that something has changed finally sets in.
3. (you react) You reflect on your goals, dreams, life, etc and put everything into perspective and how some of those things are now harder would be different if you continued on the current path.
4. (resolve) You react by turning inward, planning an exit strategy, looking for a reason to leave, check out mentally, or just plain disappear.

Blaming others is often an internal struggle to cope with your own emotions whereas this cycle of walking away is more of a struggle with dealing with change and risk.

Society likes to fill people's heads with garbage about "one true love" or differentiate between people who are "Right for you" and people who just aren't. There is a common misconception out there that you will "find" the ideal relationship--you'll meet someone who everything just clicks and live happily ever after. There is no such thing. Relationships require work, they require you to take risks and manage changes. You have to build your best relationships, they don't just happen.

Quotes:
Relationships are Risks
The only person holding you back from your goals or dreams is you.
Any two people can be right for one another if they are committed to making it work
If you're really committed to the relationship the way you should be, then you will learn the skills needed to have a good relationship with that person.
You need to commit today to stick with your next (or current) relationship no matter what.
Relationships don't hold you back, they help you.

Additional Topcis in this podcast:
Synergy - The principle that two people together produce more than two people individually.

Change is Inevitable - Everyone changes. The person you are today is not the person you will be tomorrow. Something will happen between now and when you go to bed that makes you just a little bit different tomorrow than you are right now. Being in a relationship with someone means you are agreeing to adapt to the changes that affect both of you.

Risk - Risk is defined as any unforeseen event or activity that can impact your life, the other person's life or the relationship. Risks require you to put in an effort or investment that you may not get back in the way that you want or may be worth substantially more.

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