When Flirting Goes Too Far (You're Just Being Rude)

(I changed the picture back to the original)

Flirting" is a difficult word to define in the English language, which makes it difficult to understand the concepts behind it. Philosophers the world over have had trouble describing, and therefore teaching the masses how to flirt is a difficult process. Here is my attempt: Flirting is one of a few mating practices performed by individuals to build a connection, express interest, and create excitement with each other. Flirting can, at times, be confusing, even for the expert flirt. Flirting is a higher-level form of communication that may incorporate one or more of the following elements: words, ideas, thoughts, body-language, symbols, aromas, or actions.
The things that pass for flirting with one individual can convey the opposite message to another individual, typically because of differences in cultural or social background. The opposite of flirting is being offensive.

I will be breaking the rest of this article into a series of three parts:
1. Flirty Words, Ideas, and Thoughts
2. Flirty Body-Language, Symbols, Aromas and Actions
3. Offensive Flirting

Part 3: When Not to Flirt

Flirting is a good supplement to any romantic relationship but it is not the main component. Romantic relationships require a mixture of excitement and seriousness. Having too much of one or the other will create conflicts between you and your significant other. Timing is crucial: knowing when to flirt and when not to flirt is the key to avoiding these conflicts.

I have composed lists of times when it is generally acceptable to flirt and when it is generally not a good idea to flirt:

Generally Acceptable Flirting Times

1. When you first meet someone flirting can be a great start to the relationship because it sets the tone for future flirting and excitement later down the road.
2. If he or she is particularly quiet or shy when you are around him or her, you can start a conversation more easily when you start it with flirting.
3. At any time, if you feel like you are getting bored and would like to have more fun with the other person it is okay to initiate flirting and hope that they will flirt back.
4. When the other person flirts with you and you are interested in them, it is okay to flirt back.

Generally Unacceptable Flirting Times

1. If the other person is in a particularly bad mood, it is in your best interst not to flirt with them because it can lead you to becoming a target of their poor mood.
2. When you need to convey important information or teach the other person something, flirting can prevent them from taking the information seriously, or worse, it can embarrass them.
3. If you do not have any interest in the other person, you should not flirt with them, regardless of how fun it might be. Flirting helps build relationships--when you engage in it you are building a relationship--and when you really do not want a relationship with the person you are flirting with, you are giving them the wrong impression and building a type of relationship that you ultimately do not want.
4. If the other person becomes agitated by your attempts to flirt with them, or if they are not flirting back, it may mean that you have offended them or that they want some serious time.
5. If you have to cross relationships boundaries that you shouldn't be crossing--if they make you or the other person uncomfortable--then you should immediately stop flirting. Continuing to flirt can damage the relationship that you have already spent so much energy trying to build.

Aside from timing, misunderstandings and misinterpretations can also lead to conflicts. Sometimes misunderstandings happen due to differences in culture or background. If you sense that what you are saying or what you are doing isn't being interpreted in the way that you intend, you may need to take a time out to clarify or take a break from flirting for tensions to die down.

Flirting is only effective if both sides are having fun. Watch their body language and listen to the things they are saying and you can avoid most conflicts of this nature.