& Here's the Download: download
I don't normally post tricks, because I think it's too easy to only use tricks and not know the reasons why the tricks work, and tricks only work in specific situations, so if you're not in those situations and you don't know how to do it normally then you're out of luck...
But, I made an exception with this podcast.
The trick is:
"Filter everything you say into terms that they understand, first."
There are 3 steps to this trick:
1. Brainstorm
2. Present your Motivation
3. Express the Impact
People may not understand your motivations for doing, liking, or having an opinion of things; but they do understand how it will impact them.
1. When you brainstorm, you come up with areas of intersection that the other person might have a conflict over your motivation.
2. You present your motivation, or the opinion you have, or think you want to do, but you place very minor emphasis on it and don't put any expectation on them fully understanding it (it's nice if they do, but don't hold it against them). Try not to spend more than one sentence on what you are going to do or the thing that is on your mind.
3. Express how it is going to impact the other person. Be sure to use "we" or "us" or "you" to express in what ways you think it will affect the other person.
The objective of this trick is to either: A) get them to agree and be okay with your motivation before they have a chance to have a conflict over it. OR B) open up a discussion that will reveal other things about the other person that you might not understand already and, in the future you can be more considerate of them.
Some things to remember:
*Sincerity is the key.
*Just because it's a trick, don't automatically expect it to give you everything you want.
*Most conflicts that we run into are over a lack of understanding the other side. --either both sides fail to "get" what the other person is saying, or one side gets it but the other does not.
No comments:
Post a Comment