The Problem is YOU

Not to dishearten you, but the reason you are unsatisfied with any of the relationships in your life is because of things you have done. It's time to start thinking in terms of "you", rather than "them."

In this podcast, I go over two talking points:

1. We see the negative in others that we ourselves possess.
2. Society likes us to believe that it is always the other person who has the problem, and when we feel a certain way or recognize a problem with our relationships, we are inclined to believe that the problems are caused by the other person. 

Here's the Player:




& Here's the Download: download



We tend to focus on an External perspective of our relationships rather than an Internal one.

With an external perspective, we think that we have little to no control over what happens in our relationships. We carry expectations of other people and we hold people to strict rules, the consequences of such require them to make amends to us. If they cannot, or refuse to, make amends then we have liberty of walking away. An external perspective is concerned with right and wrong in a relationship.

With an internal perspective, we think that we control and shape the relationship through our actions. We make greatness out of what we are given. Our reactions to the other person keep the relationship on the course that we would like. We remain satisfied with the relationship because it is all based on our choices.

Because society is preoccupied with external perspectives of relationships, few people think to investigate what they could do to salvage their relationship. In the moment, few people take an audit of how much they value their relationship with the other person. Most importantly, most people never learn to manage extreme (life or death) conflicts and are comfortable running away because no one has taught them that there are alternatives and that they still retain control over how the relationship is going to turn out.

Ultimately, the only decisions that matter to your life are the decisions you make based on what you are given. No one can choose to give up on a relationship for you, only you can do that. Being happy with your relationships or lack thereof is solely up to you, you choose to be happy alone or to be happy with people. Regardless of how other people are, or are not (whether they meet your qualifications or not), you still choose to admit them or deny them in your life.

The only person you can blame for your life is yourself.

5 Reasons You Shouldn't Do Everything With Your Significant Other

I wanted to do a followup to my last podcast about compatibility. Perhaps you're under the impression that you need to have a lot of common interests with your significant other and that you need to include them in your hobbies or with your friends (or even your family)? This podcast gives 5 reasons why you shouldn't get carried away into thinking your significant other has to be your twin.

Here's the Player:



& Here's the Download: download

1. People need avenues for releasing stress.
2. Doing things alone and achieving things builds confidence.
3. When you are exposed to people outside of your norm, you learn new ways of thinking and can apply the best parts to your preferred relationship.
4. Having your own friends helps you see that you have "options" and are in your relationship by choice.
5. You can't meet all of your needs in one person!

We need to live the life that we want to live rather than the life that our significant other wants us to live; and then we can include our significant other in that life, just like they should include us in their life. The best relationships are those created when we have a complete choice and not because we were forced or because we desperately needed them.