The Problem is YOU

Not to dishearten you, but the reason you are unsatisfied with any of the relationships in your life is because of things you have done. It's time to start thinking in terms of "you", rather than "them."

In this podcast, I go over two talking points:

1. We see the negative in others that we ourselves possess.
2. Society likes us to believe that it is always the other person who has the problem, and when we feel a certain way or recognize a problem with our relationships, we are inclined to believe that the problems are caused by the other person. 

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We tend to focus on an External perspective of our relationships rather than an Internal one.

With an external perspective, we think that we have little to no control over what happens in our relationships. We carry expectations of other people and we hold people to strict rules, the consequences of such require them to make amends to us. If they cannot, or refuse to, make amends then we have liberty of walking away. An external perspective is concerned with right and wrong in a relationship.

With an internal perspective, we think that we control and shape the relationship through our actions. We make greatness out of what we are given. Our reactions to the other person keep the relationship on the course that we would like. We remain satisfied with the relationship because it is all based on our choices.

Because society is preoccupied with external perspectives of relationships, few people think to investigate what they could do to salvage their relationship. In the moment, few people take an audit of how much they value their relationship with the other person. Most importantly, most people never learn to manage extreme (life or death) conflicts and are comfortable running away because no one has taught them that there are alternatives and that they still retain control over how the relationship is going to turn out.

Ultimately, the only decisions that matter to your life are the decisions you make based on what you are given. No one can choose to give up on a relationship for you, only you can do that. Being happy with your relationships or lack thereof is solely up to you, you choose to be happy alone or to be happy with people. Regardless of how other people are, or are not (whether they meet your qualifications or not), you still choose to admit them or deny them in your life.

The only person you can blame for your life is yourself.

4 Secrets that will Transform You Into a Perfect 10

The main benefit of being a Perfect 10 is that you gain experience more quickly. Perfect 10s have more options and more decisions to make, which increases their chances of picking someone who meets more of their needs. Having more options equates to having a keener understanding of what traits meet their needs best and it limits their need to settle for the best option. Being a Perfect 10 isn't an end-all-be-all; some people meet their perfect match by chance and some people are able to morph to match whoever they are with, but being a Perfect 10 can help the rest of us who have to work for everything in life.

1. Pump up your Physical Traits
The first step of your transformation should be to maximize your physical characteristics. Hit the gym, buy some new, fashionable clothes, learn how to correctly apply make-up and handle proper hygiene.  The first thing people notice about you is your physical appearance. The way you dress and take care of yourself, supposedly, says a lot about you, but only in general terms--if you look sloppy, people will think you're sloppy. If you look sick, people will think you're a druggie or you have some disease that they don't want to get--including STIs *yikes!*--but if you look athletic, people will think you are ambitious. If you smell good, people will think you're a clean, orderly person.

2. Raise your Standards
The old English term for a "standard" was a flag or banner. If you raised your standard you were making two statements: first, that you weren't going to let just anybody into your territory, and second, that you aren't going anywhere.When you raise your standards today, you're doing the same thing: establishing boundaries and indicating that you have the time to wait. This is kind of a funny way of saying, "Be Choosy."
I'm not advocating being mean or rude, but there is a polite, even friendly, way to let people know that you don't want to work towards courting them unless/until they meet your most basic standards. I would like to emphasize the philosophy of "you have time to wait;" you should never turn down a potential good friend, but those friends should know that they aren't going to make any traction with you romantically until they can meet your needs.

3. Be Sociable
Some good synonyms here are: be open, put yourself out there, make yourself available, and let people know that you're interested. Go to places where you can mingle with others and start conversations with those who catch your eye (see step one, above). If people approach you--and they should if you've taken enough care during step one--make an effort to learn their name and at least one thing about them, even if they don't take care of themselves like you do. If you go to mingling spots, make sure you mingle, don't sit around and wait for good things to happen.

4. Follow Proper Protocol
It always starts with mingling, then dating, then courting. Perfect 10s know that there are rules to finding a mate, and they make a point to follow the rules because doing so maximizes their potential for success and limits their potential for failure. It is even more important for a Perfect 10 to follow the rules because they are approached more often and their potential is higher.